June 20, 2021


Keep Fit & Healthy

The Apple Watch is in full control of my pathetic life

2 min read

The discussion about technology’s influence over our lives have gone on for years and I doubt it’ll ever stop. Yes, even when we’re eating everything through tubes and being used as batteries the conversation will continue.

There are endless examples of technology shaping our daily lives, a never-ending stream of stories like Google Maps impacting real world traffic and Instagram standardizing the tourist experience. On some level, we’re all impacted by machines.

Apart from me. I’m no longer simply influenced by technology, I’m its nasty little bottom bitch — and it’s all because of the Apple Watch.

I bought it about a month ago and, in that time, it has overseen a reign of terror over my life. Let me give you an example: while writing this, I’ve received two notifications telling me to stand up and move around a bit. And you know what I did? I popped right up like a good little boy and walked around. Both times. There is literally no person on the planet who could make me do that without the threat of violence.

apple watch controls